


If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance (Baffle Them With Bullshit)

by Kouen_chan



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Attempt at Humor, But Legolas does, Characters will be added as they appear - Freeform, Drabble Collection, Gen, Legolas is just a weirdo to most of Middle-Earth, No idea what I'm doing, weirdo! legolas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-10-24 11:49:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kouen_chan/pseuds/Kouen_chan
Summary: Legolas more often than not, knew more than what he should know. He knew others thought him as weird and eccentric, but he didn't care. He would always just do whatever he wanted, no matter what.Non-chronological drabbles with an eccentric! Legolas through the eyes of others and himself.





	1. Why Should I Despair?

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why I'm doing this. What am I doing with my life???

_Tap, tap, tap._

Small feet ran through the enormous hallways of the palace.

Smiling slightly, the little blonde ellon searched for his ada. Without hesitation, he ran across the hallway to the throne room of Greenwood the Great.

Ada was meeting with Lord Elrond, the little elf absently noted.

Pausing, he wondered how he knew that, after all, Ada had said that he was going to meet someone new. That the new person would help him ‘recover’ from the trauma he had received recently.

Legolas sighed. Not only had ada introduced him to Mithrandir, ada had constantly been rambling about Legolas to ‘get better.’

Legolas shook his head in despair. He knew he was young – barely even century old! – but he knew that nana was gone and there was nothing anybody could do about it. If Legolas continued to cry and sulk about it, nana would be sad and disappointed, the little Sindarin elf decided.

Even if he was sad and unhappy, nana had given him a little leaf pendent that would always show that nana was always with him and protecting him; therefore, Legolas wasn’t scared.

“Ada!” Legolas cried out in joy when he finally reached the room that contained his ada and Lord Elrond who-he-did-know-but-isn’t-supposed-to.

Giggling slightly, he watched as his ada flinched in surprise and Lord Elrond blink in confusion.

“So, this is your son,” Legolas heard Lord Elrond state, “He’s not what I expected.”

He heard ada snort. “Of course not, he never is.”

Tilting his head, Legolas felt his eyes sharpen and glaze over and as he glanced at Lord Elrond. Somehow, he just knew that thanks to Lord Elrond, many things were to come, whether it be fun or sad. Legolas pondered his newfound knowledge that had just entered his head.

_I wonder if I’ll meet a dwarf? Maybe we can even be best friends!_


	2. Not What I Expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elrond meets the young prince of Greenwood.

As lord of Imladris, Elrond like to believe that he was a rather flexible ellon. Having been born in the first age, he had seen many things.

He especially had learned much about children thanks to his three children, _especially_ the twins (the little brats).

He had expected many things when Thranduil had asked for his presence in Greenwood. A depressed child, still wallowing in guilt and fear was one of them. Maybe even a fading ellon. What he did not expect was exactly what he got though.

When he arrived in Greenwood in the spring of TA 172, he was not met with a grieving royal family, but a bewildered father and an all-knowing child.

“He’s… not what I thought he would be.” Elrond quietly muttered to Thranduil as the elvenking cradled his son close to him.

As Thranduil was about to reply, a small head popped out of the older ellon’s robes. “Of course not,” young Legolas laughed, “I don’t like meeting expectations, Lord Elrond!”

Raising an eyebrow, Elrond shared a look with Thranduil before leaning down and looking at the little elven child.

“Oh? So, your father already introduced me? And what is your name, little one?”

Tilting his head slightly, Legolas stared back at the lord of Imladris.

“Nope, I just knew. I’m Legolas, but don’t you already know, Lord Elrond?”

Looking at Thranduil, Elrond watched as the Sindarin elf shook his head, enforcing the truth of his son’s words, alongside with the bewildered look in his eyes.

Glancing down at Legolas again, Elrond wondered if the child had somehow gained the ability to see into the future, like Lady Galadriel.

Mentally, the elf lord shook his head. He pondered his conclusions before setting them aside for later.

_If something of such importance were to happen, the Valar would inform the council… right?_


	3. A Meowtain of Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gimli is just done with that blasted elf.

Gimli tried not to stare at the elf.

He failed.

The Fellowship was in Lothlorien and had just finished their meeting with the beautiful Lady Galadriel. Everyone seemed to be much more cheerful than before, but there seemed to be an invisible weight on the entire group, especially the small hobbits.

Looking around, he saw as other elves just shook their heads and walked away from the eccentric elf. Lady Galadriel (who was extremely beautiful) had even giggled at the state the elf was in. Even that elf, Haldir, had decided that getting involved was not worth the pain and misery!

“Well, well, well. This is a _cat-_ astrophe,” Gimli heard the elf say to the hobbits, “Though, they are adorable. They’re almost _purr-_ fect!”

Gimli growled slightly as the hobbits giggled at the elf’s antics. Aragorn, Gimli noticed from the corner of his eyes, was pointedly ignoring the elf and furiously muttering something. All he could catch was ‘not again’ and ‘awful, awful puns.’

Hazarding a guess, Gimli decided that it was best to probably leave the general area as soon as possible.

“Master Dwarf, what’s wrong? Is it _paw-_ sible that I’m bothering you? I’m just _kitten_ around!”

Turning around, Gimli felt a bit of despair. Of course, the elf couldn’t just be despicable and annoying, he also had to be sick in the head as well!

“Don’t worry, I have nothing _pur-_ sonal against you.”

Aragorn, suddenly recovered from his bout of despair, replied for Gimli, his voice firm and cold.

“No.”

 _Smirk._ “This is _fur_ the best.”

“Stop.”

“Oh! I’ve thought of a _mew_ idea!”

“Legolas.”

“What’s with that _cat-_ itude?”

“Legolas. No. More. Puns!”

Smirking slightly, Legolas hugged another stray cat that had decided to make itself comfy in his arms. Despite being surrounded by cats, he seemed to be very comfortable and smug. Watching as Aragorn begin to rage, Gimli groaned, fully aware of how long of a journey this was going to be, especially with that elf!

In the background, Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Frodo simply laughed at their companions’ reactions, feeling much better from their earlier scares.


	4. The Foreign Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elrohir and Elladan meet Legolas and friendships are established.

Elrohir and Elladan watched unblinkingly as the little Greenwood prince wandered around the gardens. When their ada had told them that the prince would be coming to ‘strengthen’ relationships between the two elven settlements, the twins had been doubtful. Not even Arwen – who was now off visiting their grandparents – had really believed that excuse.

Watching the young elf trip over a tree root (for the fifth time), they wondered what was running through their father’s mind. First, he went all the way to Greenwood because there was an ‘emergency,’ then he brings back the elf prince!

“Urgg… This is so frustrating!” Elrohir complained as quietly as possible, so not to alert the other elf of their presence.

Elladan nodded in agreement. Turning around to look at Elrohir, he asked, “What should we do now? We can’t just stay here all day watching him!”

“Well… You could always come out. I promise I won’t bite!” called out a voice from the other side of the tree that the twins were hiding in.

Shrieking in surprise, the duo toppled over to the ground.

“W-hat?! H-how?!” the two spluttered, trying to regain their balance as Legolas watched them, amused.

“I just knew. The trees told me as well. The trees are really nice here, but they like playing tricks too much,” Legolas explained to the wide-eyed twins, “They’ve tripped me several times already. They tend to gossip a lot too. Did you know that Lord Glorfindel apparently was pranked around here a couple weeks ago? They mentioned something about paint.”

Gaping in astonishment, the twins shared a look. There was no way the Greenwood prince could have known that without ada or Glorfindel telling him, and they both would never tell anyone, especially with what happened. That meant that the prince was telling the truth about the trees…

Coming to a conclusion, the twins simultaneously turned to face Legolas.

“I think…”

“We’ll be _very_ good friends,”

“ **Legolas!"**

Legolas tilted his head to the side as new information came to him. His lips curled up a bit and replied,

“ _Oak_ -kay, I’m sure we’ll have many mom- _ents_ of fun!”


	5. Of Ramblings and Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erestor listens to Legolas ramble.

“…And so, that’s why Gollum cannot be trusted!”

Erestor listened as the young prince of Greenwood rambled on. Once again, Legolas was rambling on and on about one thing or another to the advisor. Erestor had no idea what it was that made Legolas choose him of all elves to ‘confide’ in, but it made him… happy in a way.

Currently, the duo was in the Imladris library. Legolas was on another one of his numerous trips to Imladris to visit the mischievous twins and the overworked advisor.

“Um-hm…” Erestor mumbled, signing off another paper about something. Honestly, most of it was useless, but someone had to do it, no matter how pointless and time-consuming it was.

Leaning back a bit, he took the other elf in consideration. When they had first met, Legolas was very small and not even a century old. Now, the elven prince was much taller and nearly Erestor’s height.

“Why are you standing on your head?” Erestor questioned the eccentric elf.

“Because it helps me think better,” Legolas explained, twisting his body so that he could stand up straight without hurting himself, “The blood rushes to my head and bam! Quicker thinking, yeah?”

Erestor felt his mouth twitch in amusement. Half the time, he felt like the Gre – Mirkwood (not Greenwood, Greenwood is gone) prince was joking around with others. Of course, there was the other half of the time that he wasn’t joking and those times were rather… unique.

“Oh, I nearly forgot! The trees back home told me the other day that –“

“Erestor!”

As Glorfindel cut into what Legolas began to say, Erestor noticed a slight frown on Legolas’s face.

“Are you busy? I really need your help with this and –“ Glorfindel began, but cut himself off when he noticed the golden-haired ellon.

“I see you have a guest,” the head guard of Imladris began, “I’ll come back later.” With that, he turned around and slammed the door shut.

Erestor sighed in exasperation. While he wasn’t fully sure what the problem between the two was, he did know that for an unknown reason, the two tended to fight for his attention. Turning to face Legolas, he noticed that the ellon was hiding his face.

“Are you alright?”

Legolas nodded, “I’m going to go find the twins…”

Erestor sighed again. “Don’t worry about Glorfindel. He’s just being petty.”

As Legolas left the library, Erestor decided that he had to have a… _talk_ with Glorfindel about the proper treatment of the young elf. After all, it wouldn’t be proper if the other elf didn’t learn how to treat children properly.


	6. The Formation of a Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo meets Legolas and creates a plan.

Bilbo shivered as he felt the past several days catch up to him. Wandering around in the dungeons of Mirkwood was not an ideal situation for him. Shoving down his hunger pains, Bilbo took another cursory look around for guards before dashing to the stairs. Hopefully, he’d be able to find some food and a place to rest for a while before restarting his search for an exit for the dwarves.

Tiptoeing across the enormous halls of Mirkwood, Bilbo sighed in relief as he saw no elf within his vicinity. As he reached the kitchens to steal some food, he heard a bit of movement. Tensing in surprise, Bilbo prepared himself.

Tilting his head to look in the kitchen, Bilbo noticed that strangely enough, only one elf was in the kitchen, unlike how it usually was – bustling with activity and elves – and the tall, pale elf seemed familiar.

“It’s fine, you can reveal yourself. I won’t let anyone know,” the elf’s melodic voice called out, snapping the hobbit out of his musings.

Hesitating, Bilbo wondered if the strange elf was talking to someone else. Nervously, he held his silence, hoping that he wasn’t discovered.

“C’mon, I don’t bite,” the elf teased gently, “I bet you’re hungry. I have food!”

Bilbo tentatively removed the small, golden ring from his finger, revealing his figure to the elf.

“Ah-ha! I knew you were hungry,” Bilbo watched as the elf’s unfocused, foggy eyes turned to look at him. Was he blind? “Here, come sit. There’s plenty of food.”

Looking at the table, Bilbo began to feel the pangs of hunger make itself known. As he walked toward the table to take a seat, the elf behind him introduced himself.

“I’m Legolas. And you are…?”

“U-uh, Bilbo B-Baggins,” Bilbo stuttered, “I-it’s nice to meet you.”

As the duo began to eat, Legolas began to ramble to the hobbit. Bilbo, unaware of what was going on, just sat and listened.

“…That ring of yours… Be careful, it can be helpful, but all good things must come to an end…”

“…You know, I’m often reminded that no good deed goes unpunished. It’s so strange…”

“… Father is having a celebration in a week. Maybe you and the dwarrows can escape then…”

Bilbo paused, contemplating the last sentence Legolas had uttered. As Legolas’s ramblings began to fade into the background, an idea formed in Bilbo’s head.

Rushing out of his seat, he put on his ring – not before thanking Legolas, he was a gentlehobbit afterall – and went to go survey the dungeon again. Maybe the company could escape via the empty wine barrels…

It was an idea to investigate. If what he thought was correct, then he’d tell Thorin that they finally had a way to escape.


	7. Of Worriers and Warriors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thranduil is worried. Thranduil is really worried. Tauriel on the other hand is just done with life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably terrible, but oh well.

Thranduil sighed again for the nth time. If only he had sent another in Legolas’s place. If only they had been more careful. If only…

Sighing once again, Thranduil viciously imagined all the ways he would punish Elrond for sending his ion on such a dangerous quest. Legolas was much too precocious for people to deal with. What if he got scared and no one was there to comfort him? What if Legolas was injured and was too stubborn to tell anyone? What if Legolas died?! Thranduil sighed in worry once again.

(Tauriel decided against shooting down all the ridiculous ideas Lord Thranduil had. After all, Legolas tended to get along with everyone. Not only that, it was rare for the spacey ellon to ever be sad. In addition, Legolas knew perfectly well how to deal with injuries of any sort and never was ever too stubborn to ask for help. As for dying… well it was Legolas. She doubted that the resilient weirdo would die that easily.)

After a while of pacing back and forth in worry, Thranduil finally settled into his chair in an exhausted worry.

Honestly, what was that child thinking?! He gets sent to report about that creature and next thing he knows, Legolas was off to destroy that blasted ring! Ugh. Thranduil could just feel the incoming headache that had been persisting ever since he had heard the news.

The dwarves were going to be insufferable too. Thranduil wondered why his strange son had been so keen on gaining a steady alliance with the dwarves. Well, it was of no matter now. Thranduil would honor their alliances no matter what, even if they weren’t forged by himself.

Groaning again, Thranduil wondered if he could take his stag and chase after the group that his son was a part of.

Probably not. Legolas most likely wouldn’t appreciate it. Much.

(Taurial felt like groaning herself. Honestly! Legolas was old enough to take care of himself. She truly admired the ellon’s patience for such overprotectiveness. Even if it wasn’t directed at her, it was still starting to slowly get on her nerves.)

Looking over the stack of paperwork, Thranduil was once again reminded of his son. Letting his head fall onto his desk, he let out a small, pitiful whine.

(Tauriel was just done with all this bullshit. This was just the worst!)


End file.
